Last week I presented to a room full of teachers and counselors of a local school district.

The first part of the presentation I taught them terminology. Words like asexual, cisgender, heterosexism, intersex, LGBTIQ, two-spirit and ze (A-Z! haha). All of the words previously mentioned were a challenge. The only word they knew was lesbian. They learned a lot from this activity.

During my presentation we were talking about derogatory terms and the phrase, “That’s so Gay.” I had a teacher raise her hand and ask if the term was bad. I collected myself because I did not want to make a face or be disrespectful, and told her it was hurtful. I further explained a lot of the times when students use it they don’t mean it as a slight towards the gay community, but it is hurtful and they do not realize the gravity the word has.

I also took this as an opportunity to say you should never say the phrase, “That’s retarded.”

Recently I had a conversation with my partner about the usage of the phrase, “That’s gay.” and he said it didn’t bother him anymore and it should be about what is in someone’s heart. I just thought to myself at the same time we never know what is in someone’s heart. I firmly believe the phrase should not be used in that way at all. It bothers me whenever someone says it.

When someone says, “That’s so gay.” what do you think about it?